Rediscovering “Third Place” Friendships in a Post-Pandemic World

“By taking part in ordinary activities like visiting a bar or restaurant or a park or library, we are doing something which is important to the health of our neighbors, neighborhoods, and communities.”

Returning to Places Where Everyone Knows Our Name

The theme song from the situation comedy Cheers reminds us that “Sometimes you want to go/Where everybody knows your name/And they’re always glad you came.” In Cheers, that place was a bar. It exemplified the type of welcoming hangout that sociologist Ray Oldenburg calls “third places.”

Third places include bars, cafes, neighborhood parks, and libraries. They are “a hospital asylum from life and its cares” says the humorist H.L. Menken. They have benefits that overcome the drawbacks of the limited friendship networks we create when left to our own devices.

The Coronavirus (COVID-19) shutdowns limited our contacts with these informal, fun places. While around two in three Americans spent time at third places in 2019, only one in two did during the pandemic. This is another hidden cost of the pandemic that has hurt Americans’ social health. Our pandemic recovery must include returning to these relaxed and engaging places and finding new ones to replace those we lost.

Understanding Third Places

Third places are a form of voluntary association that connect us to each other in special ways through the free choices we make to be there. They involve an escape from home (the first place) and work (the second place). Third places are typically inclusive, neutral grounds with no formal membership requirements. They offer conversation, enjoyment, play, and discovery. They are civil society’s living room.