Please Stop the Profanity

I recently traveled to Florida to visit my family and celebrate my sister’s birthday. It was an entirely delightful visit until just about the last moment: on the flight home. The flight attendant announced that our flight was fully booked and that every seat would be occupied. A completely packed plane is never pleasant. But, surprisingly, the middle seat between me and a young woman in the window seat remained unoccupied. I was thinking that I had really lucked out—an empty seat next to me on a supposedly full flight. My good fortune held for another five minutes until a straggling passenger came charging down the aisle to the middle seat next to me.

My middle seat mate settled in and promptly announced in a loud voice that he had missed his f—ing flight from Miami and had to f—ing drive all the way to Tampa to fly to f—ing Philly. He then took out his phone and began calling whomever to repeat his tale of travel woes. That is when the f-word really began to fly. And he was on speaker phone the whole time. It also did not concern him that we, passengers, had been told to turn off our cell phones or place them in airplane mode. He persisted with his string of vulgarity bemoaning how he had missed his previous flight. Finally, he put his phone away and blessedly dozed off for a while. 

No one said anything to him while he spouted one f-word after another, including the people on the other end of his calls. They actually were using it also, and there were clearly children in the background of the call. Not one person within earshot of him on the flight said a word. I certainly did not, I am sorry to report. Parents of children near our row said nothing. No one did. I suppose we are all so accustomed to hearing foul language these days that we just ignore it. 

Although my seatmate was admittedly extreme in his offense, I hear the f-word, the s-word, and other profanities in many places and circumstances. It is truly rare for me to walk through a shopping mall, the boardwalk at the New Jersey Shore, or just about anywhere without hearing obscenities. And I say nothing to the offenders.

This was not always the case. 

When I was a young teacher (and a not-so-young one also), I would never hesitate to ask someone using profanity to “Please watch your language.” I would add that there were children, senior citizens, or families within earshot. This request was usually carried out in my best teacher's voice. I was always met with either a murmured “Sorry,” a quiet nod, or silence. They got it. 

Nowadays, I would never dare to ask someone to “watch their language.” I would be quite afraid of the reaction I would receive, with so many people with hair-trigger tempers and eager to resort instinctively to hostility. Today “Let it go; it’s just not worth it” is my way of dealing with my exposure to profane language. I often feel that I simply have to accept that we live in a culture with an abundance of f-bombs and other vulgarities. Even movies and television shows are full of them and, in many cases, absurdly so. 

Currently, I am watching a series on Netflix about the beer brewing Guinness family of Dublin titled House of Guinness. The use of the f-word makes an otherwise fascinating and well-acted series seem, at times, ridiculous. I refuse to believe that polished, well-educated, and sophisticated business people of the 1860s would have used the f-word as incessantly as the series portrays. I further doubt that the women of that era would have had it flying from their tongues as easily and frequently as they do in the show. There is simply no need for all of the profanity. It adds nothing to the plot and strikes me as both gratuitous and preposterous. 

Interestingly, the very day I was working on this piece, I had a casual dinner out with my family. It was hard not to overhear the conversation at the next table. The people sitting there were discussing a friend of theirs. To describe the friend, one person at the table said with enthusiasm, “He’s just so f—ing polite.” That is quite the oxymoron and just another indication of the incessant presence of offensive words in our society.

Here is my plea: Stop the profanity. Show respect to those around you by watching your language. And I will begin with myself. Please know that I have certainly used profanity. But, as of now, I remain determined to limit it and hopefully cease using it altogether. I make no excuse for my own use of foul language. Just going forward, I strive to do better. I ask everyone to do the same. 

While realizing this plea may seem censorious, it is important to me. I have three fantastic great nephews and a precious great-niece. I do not want them to be exposed to obscenities, and, by extension, I would not wish the children in anyone’s lives to be subjected to them, or any person for that matter.  

Please think twice before spewing the f-word, the s-word, or any other vulgar words. A more pleasant society would be sure to follow. 

Karen M. Prince taught in the Department of Elementary & Early Childhood Education at the College of New Jersey and served as the Assistant Chair of the department. She was a recipient of the college's Civility Award and holds a doctorate in curriculum and instruction from Temple University in Philadelphia.