Interview: Kate Leaver Talks Friendship

“I think reciprocity is a very important part of a friendship or, in fact, any type of relationship. I think having a balance where both of you are investing equal amounts of time and energy and love and attention into that relationship is really important.”

Kate Leaver is a journalist from Sydney, Australia, who now lives in London. Ms. Leaver has contributed to a variety of publications, including The Sydney Morning Herald, The Guardian, Vogue, and Vice. But, in 2018, Ms. Leaver published her first book, The Friendship Cure, which examines the value and importance of friendships in the twenty-first century. Covering topics from the perennial question of whether men and women can “just be friends,” to the effects of friendship on mental and physical health, to what happens when a friendship ends, Ms. Leaver chronicles the important topic of interpersonal relationships and how they fit into these times. She joins Merion West and Kambiz Tavana to discuss how she came to write the book, her methods for understanding friendship, and the relationship between the online world and connecting with others.

Ms. Leaver, thank you for joining us today. Can you talk about how you came to write this book?

Basically, I read an article in 2015 that was by a journalist named Julie Beck in The Atlantic. She said that we tend to lose our friendships as we get older, get married, and have kids, and that we become lonely as we get older. I was really frightened and alarmed by this article because I really treasure my friends. I was at the age where a lot of my friends started getting married and having kids, and I just wished that I could say to them, you know, “I wish we could make our friendships a priority” and sort of preserve those friendships and relationships as long as we can, no matter what happens.