not that I want to leave Everything and Everyone I know
for an Unknown
but that the flip side of that Coin feels worth every ache, every foggy morning, every sleepless night
as I chase Something that may never happen
because what if it’s not Nothing? what if the Unfolding is everything?
part of me believes that it is human nature to chase after uncertainty
if we always knew the outcome, we would never experience emotion
the thrill.
and grief.
the trembling in between.
I really,
truly
believe
trying is the only way to make the Uncertain, Certain.
and yet, i have felt absolutely swarmed with questions of the unknown. they cling like gnats toskin, buzzing louder with every attempt to swat them away. and they’re pestering me with myown desire for control and knowledge. the more i fight, the more i spiral. i talk too fast, explaintoo much. and by the end, i’m just word vomiting to anyone who might understand will listen,why i’m leaving every possible Yes for one staggering, wild Maybe.
but in the hands of God, Fate, the Universe, My Own Fragile Free will or Whoever we chalk up life’s
grand unfolding to
I am certain that right now, I need to go.
And maybe, I will be lucky enough to understand why
And maybe, this Uncertainty will become a Definitive Yes.
or a quiet, echoing No.
both will be okay. in their own way.
because without trying it would have always remained
Maybe
Krista Phillips, originally from Utah, is now based in the Pacific Northwest.
