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# Stealing Baby Jesus
- URL: https://www.merionwest.com/stealing-baby-jesus/
- Published: 2025-06-12T16:47:22.000Z
- Updated: 2026-09-24T00:01:20.000Z
- Description: W. D. Ehrhart
- Author: MW Editors
- Tags: Poetry, Arts

> The headline in today’s *Inquirer*

> shocked me to my very soul: “Baby Jesus

> Stolen from the Shrine of St. John Neumann,”

> Northern Liberties neighborhood,

> Fifth Street & Girard. In broad daylight, too.

> Okay, it was only a plaster figurine,

> not expensive, though very much beloved—

> according to the shrine’s director—

> there among the sainted bishop’s

> Bibles, vestments, and eyeglasses.

> Criminy! Is nothing sacred anymore?

> Only last week, a gold crown was stolen

> from a statue of the Virgin Mary

> in a Center City Roman Catholic Church.

> It’s getting so you don’t know who to trust.

> But a gold crown at least makes fiscal sense.

> Gold is gold, after all. It’s got real value:

> pawn it, maybe sell it on the street,

> buy yourself a quart of Thunderbird wine,

> a spoonful of smack, a hit of crack.

> But a plaster Baby Jesus? I mean

> let’s get real. What are you supposed to do

> with a plaster Baby Jesus? Bounce it

> on your knee? Play peek-a-boo I-see-you? 

> A sin. A sacrilege. And all for what?

### *W. D. Ehrhart has authored or edited a number of collections of poetry and prose, most recently* [*Thank You for Your Service: Collected Poems*](https://www.amazon.com/Thank-You-Your-Service-Collected/dp/1476678537?ref=merionwest.com) *and* [*What We Can and Can’t Afford: Essays on Vietnam, Patriotism, and American Life*](https://www.amazon.com/What-Can-Cant-Afford-Patriotism/dp/1476692203?ref=merionwest.com)*, both from McFarland & Company, Inc. He holds a Ph.D. from University of Wales at Swansea and taught at The Haverford School in Pennsylvania from 2001 to 2019.*