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# an ode to Maybe
- URL: https://www.merionwest.com/an-ode-to-maybe-2/
- Published: 2026-04-24T18:23:03.000Z
- Updated: 2026-06-11T21:51:30.000Z
- Author: Austin Allen James
- Tags: Poetry, Arts

> a Close Family Friend has an adage:

> **never trade a definitive Yes**

> **for a Maybe**

> He never said a continuation for what I should do

> when the potential *Maybe*

> represents Everything I Want

> not that I want to leave Everything and Everyone I know

> for an Unknown

> but that the flip side of that Coin feels worth every ache, every foggy morning, every sleepless night

> as I chase Something that may never happen

> because what if it’s not Nothing? what if the Unfolding is everything?

> part of me believes that it is human nature to chase after uncertainty

> if we always knew the outcome, we would never experience emotion

> the thrill.

> and grief.

> the trembling in between.

> 

> 

> I really,

> truly

> believe

> 

> trying is the only way to make the Uncertain, Certain.

> and yet, i have felt absolutely swarmed with questions of the unknown. they cling like gnats to skin, buzzing louder with every attempt to swat them away. and they’re pestering me with my own desire for control and knowledge. the more i fight, the more i spiral. i talk too fast, explain too much. and by the end, i’m just word vomiting to anyone who might understand will listen, why i’m leaving every possible *Yes* for one staggering, wild *Maybe.* 

> but in the hands of God, Fate, the Universe, My Own Fragile Free will or Whoever we chalk up life’s 

> grand unfolding to

> I am certain that right now, I need to go.

> And maybe, I will be lucky enough to understand why

> And maybe, this Uncertainty will become a Definitive Yes.

> or a quiet, echoing No.

> both will be okay. in their own way.

> because without trying it would have always remained

> *Maybe*

### [Krista Phillips](https://www.instagram.com/acollectionofkp/?ref=merionwest.com), originally from Utah, is now based in the Pacific Northwest.